I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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