i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
