how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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