dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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