either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
