i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize