CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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