Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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