after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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