i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
