Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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