i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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