i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's like iHOP with fire
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
