My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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