Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
