If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
