yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
