what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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