My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
