An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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