I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
