so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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