All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
