just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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