I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
