we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
