In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
