So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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