some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
