Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
