I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
