in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
