can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
