He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
