I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
