video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
