It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
