i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
