i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
