If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
