so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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