So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
