you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
