I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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