sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
