Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
