I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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