we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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