there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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