I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
